Sebuah kisah

Membeli prata kari terpisah
Kala kumakan mual melanda
Hati gembira bercampur resah
Kala kupakai jubah wisuda

Gank riani kuasai Jogja
Sang musuh mundur sampai ke gua
Berkali-kali melamar kerja
Kabar baik tak datang jua

Membeli makan di kantin A
Tiga dolar tiada rasa
Tak disangka datang si dia
Dari Singapura mencari mangsa

Bulan depan perpanjang sewa
Uang gaji kantor habis semua
Dengan rayuan uang beasiswa
Ditambah gelar doktor bagi semua

Andai di sini ada si Melda
Semua bonekanya kan kusandera
Kini di sini daku berada
despo PhD student di Singapura

(expecting to write the sequels)

~AYS~
habiskehujanan

paper Oh paper...

PhD --> "Paper harus Diproduksi"

Well.. actually PhD is just a simple job.. in which we have to produce paper.. the more the better..
the higher impact factor the better.. more cited the better.. etc etc.. and another important point "first author" is very important.

Today, just did an experiment from 10am to 7pm.
Got a good result, just need to check its reproducibility, take a picture, and voilaa.. paper published *hope so..*
Felt happy.. but after 1 hour.. realized
"Gosh.. it was not my own paper --" "

Yes, the result was actually my experiment collaboration with MSE students.
The actual job description seemed like already defined:
1. me: supply the protein sample
2. MSE: supply the polymer, did the measurement, supply the topic.
3. both of us: thinking about the reason why and contribute each ideas..
*well.. from the job description.. you know la.. who contributed more...* T.T

In order to survive in this PhD world.. it seemed that "second author" is not quite important.
*klo mw dibilang kasar.. kolaborasi dengan hasil penulis kedua bisa diidentikkan dengan istilah menjadi budak nya budak prof laen* apa lagi klo tujuan sebenar nya melenceng, tidak terlalu nyambung topik, kontribusi kecil.. jadi merasa jadi budak aje.. --"

So.. in my case.. well.. it seems that I couldn't really happy with this result..
well.. honestly, I become a little bit happy. at last, I can show somethin in my report and exam.
But.. for the boss side.. well.. I know that she will not feel so much happy with this, and will still chase me for my own result and my own paper..

Hikz... T-T

- thinkin2.. ponderin2... procrastinating her own topic -

Paper Review

Juragan: "Gimana paper ini menurut lu?"

Gua: "Yah, hasil keren, mantap, tapi caranya ampas, dapet yang bagus gara2 hoki doang"

(boleh dibaca, boleh diskip) >> dia mau cari nilai maksimum dari sesuatu, caranya brutal, ngambil angka sembarang dicoba satu2, sampai ga bisa nemu hasil yang lebih baik >> kalau gua bilang ide ini ke bos gua, pasti gua langsung dimarahi di tempat..

Juragan: "Iya, pertama kali gua baca juga ni paper sampah"

Gua: "Err.."

Juragan: "Tapi dia ngutip paper gua dua.. jadi gua nanti recommend biar paper ini diterima aja deh. pendek ini, buat ngabisin 3 halaman jurnal doang si gpp la.. cincai"

>> Bagi kami di dunia riset, salah satu parameter kerjaan kita menarik atau gak adalah berapa banyak kutipan (citation) dari paper yang udah kita publish dari orang2. Semakin banyak kutipan, berarti paper kita semakin keren.. semakin menarik.. semakin berpengaruh.. entah itu baik atau buruk, yang pasti paper2 ini sudah berpengaruh besar buat gua (for snatching my youth, quote by PY)

~AYS~

merenungtentangmasadepan

E-mail

I have added the SEM figure to figure 2 (file attached)

Regards
---

* * *

Is this your best image? E Colis looks funny and they aggregate. Can you find a better image or do SEM again?

* * *

Here are the list of other good SEM images. There are some with low or high magnification. There are also some area where the cells are not aggregate. I chose that particular picture (I sent before) to present high density E.coli. When they grow, actually E.coli like to aggregate themselves and form clumps.

So just choose which one you prefer. Thanks.


Best Regards,
---

* * *

All these are not presentable.

* * *

Ok. Then I don't think it's necessary to present the SEM image.

Best Regards,
---

* * *

---, there is not half-way research. As a researcher, we should make things as perfect as we can and present the best as we can get and make something you will be proud of. Please do SEM again. This is not too difficult to do.

* * *

Two things you need to know:
1. I'm not proud to be called as a researcher and for any research work I have done. If you are proud, it's up to you. So please don't use the word 'we'.
2. SEM is not something easy to do, especially for living creatures. If you think it is easy, you can do it yourself.

things that I fear..

When I was a little girl.. I kind of afraid several things:
1. dark
2. ghost
3. height and high speed
4. cockroachs, spider, snake, etc..
5. dentist, and so on..
no need to display here.. cause it will make this blog over-loaded

And now.. since I am growing older, I realize.. that I need to add my list..
and.. since a year ago.. this is the new update thing that I add
"BOSS"

-end-

Quest

An interesting inspiration from one of Suhu's blog post. When it was modified then.. it turns out to be..

Job with higher pay.... many..

More prestige job... there are..

Job that utilize your brain until (beyond, in some cases) its limit...

Don't waste your time to find one...

PhD student.. we really pro(u)d of this job...

~AYS~

--dedicated to those who celebrate his/her anniversary joining 'gloomy' PhD world shortly--

Just my 50 cents.. (enough for a cup of coffee though)

Just read a 'spooky' post from fellow phd student. The research was a failure, the results were junkie (according to the boss for sure), no appreciation for the failure work (well, nobody shd expect that @ the first place). For us, the experience and feeling are really easy to be understood. Okay, forget it, life must go on, then what can 'we' do about it? Well.. let's see (However, this might be on case to case basis, depends on how desperate and freak your boss is)..

1. It is ILLICIT to use 'weekend' as the reason for not doing experiment. Our working hours is same with the opening time of 7-11 mart (24/7). Wish that your boss would understand those Korean dramas await you @ home? that you had appointment on bbq party @ East Coast.. Well.. indeed, you wish!! 

2. Bad results need not be reported (it applies to my boss).. 

Student: I have tried method A, unsuccessful, B also sucks, C useless.

Prof: Okay, then why shd we do?

Student: Dunno

Prof (fingers point to the door): Go back to ur office. Find out. Report to me once you find.

Student: Okay

Never report anything after that. Although stlll working, get other suck results. What's the point going to that 'court' only to be scolded and tormented. 

Finally one day (after few days of suck researches and many days of 'blank'ing

Prof: So, what is happening

Student: Nothing

Prof: How could nothing happening

Student: Well...

Prof: What happens to you. u've any personal problem? Okay. Let's go for a coffee..

Well, to be honest the personal problem is myself, where the self-motivation was on its lowest level (and still decreasing).. Nevertheless, need to be grateful when the boss have good skill to motivate w/o any need to talk crap 

~AYS~

harussemangat

That sense of curiousity

All that whining during your PhD. ..

Having to find a topic (or expand your topic to make it long enough so that you have enough things to do during your PhD)

Having to meet deadline set by your boss...

Having to deal with the not so sensible bureaucracy, as if they are made to make your life more difficult, part of your PhD training....

Having to make presentation slide last minute...

Having to write your QE report (with no significant progress, if any....)

Having to write paper, how your result is significant, justifying your result, or bullshitting how your result could save humanity

Having to redo your experiment because someone accidentaly turn off your instrument, or throw away your cells thinking that it is a waste

All your experiments fail. you have tried all possibles ways you could think of...

That your are neither a student with full privileged as a student (access to cheaper accomodation, transportation) nor a working adult

That you are nobody, have no social life, you only know the way from your home to your lab

Depressing it is.

Sometimes you feel like you are giving up. Don't care anymore.

So why you are here? What keep you going?

Is it because of stipend? If you are smart enough to enter Phd programme, then I'm sure you are smart enough to get a job.

May be because of commitment? coz giving up is not in your dictionary?

Whatever is the reason that stopping you from quitting, you need to find a way to at least enjoy it.

For me, it is as simple as curiosity. Curiosity to find out how to solve problems. How insignificant they are. All that problems will cease away for a moment (at least) when your curiosity is answered.

So what keep you going?

to add to the truth*

edited.

yest talked to my prof.

Prof: "i am making your proposal now. so what are ur testing about? last time u told me b4"

me: "ok prof, i am testing these types of connections."

Prof: "oh, so is it wif slab? or u wanna add frame to it?"

me: "no prof, i dun think to do it with slab. not even frame, just purely e connections."

Prof: "but, if u make proposal only like tis. it's like master then. not PhD. cos the proposal is too short."

me: "??!"

Tis gave me conclusion that, PhD is just another 2 more years of torture after a Master: just to show that you do more things than a commoner, and so that your proposal just gets longer. :|| *oh goodness i hope tis torture come to its end soon . .

The bitter truth...

Hmm...This is what's actually going on..a little bit too honest, isn't it?

Just another Wendy Macnaughton's piece