Fleeing Faraway

If I had the option to flee, would I take it?
It is indeed not an easy decision
When I looked back this past (almost) four years
On all those efforts and courages that I have put
It's really pathetic
Even though most of them are indeed futile
Unfortunately, I do not have that option
I am not a risk-taker
It's hard to imagine that I wouldn't have any income
If I was stubborn and took the option even though I did not possess it
Well, that is the only reason I can think of
On why I still here
If I had no other option but flee
That may be the case
Because I know myself, my intelligence, aptitude, and ability
That have been pushed far beyond what they supposed to
In addition to deterioration of my brain quality
Or if it is a matter of jealousy
A sign of desperation?
For those are the reasons why so many efforts were in vain

Maybe, it is the time to make that option available
Then I can flee faraway from this world
With peace in mind as I will have made the right decision
For my better life.

~AYS~
dalamkeadaanputusasa